Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Will Had Words For It

I recently was given a small volume of Will Rogers' sayings, and it proved to be a gem in several ways. Of course, it was fun to once again be entertained by the words of one of America's most beloved humorists. But of more interest, I thought, was how applicable many of  Rogers' sayings are to today's political and social situations.

The old Texas cowboy started his career in 1902 touring with a Wild West Show and then a circus in South Africa , Australia, and New Zealand. He performed in U.S. theaters for three decades, appeared in 70 movies, and published his observations on just about everything in some 400 newspapers until he died in 1935.

Rogers wrote all of his own material. He was an unusual comedian in that he wanted his humor to make a point, to say something true. I think he succeeded often. See if you agree after reviewing selected quotes in various categories from the small collection I read:

On Female Inequality

You can't pass a park without seeing a statue of some old codger on a horse, it must be his bravery, you can tell it isn't his horsemanship. Women are twice as brave as men, yet they never seem to have reached the statue stage.

On Civilization

There ain't no civilization where there ain't no satisfaction and that's the trouble now. Nobody is satisfied.

On the Pace of Life

I have never yet seen a man in such a big hurry that a horse or train wouldn't have got him there in plenty of time. If fact, nine-tenths of the people would be better off if they stayed where they are instead of going where they are going. No man in America if he didn't get where he is going would be missed.

On American Prosperity

We'll show the world we are prosperous, even if we have to go broke to do it.

On Taxes

I don't see why a man shouldn't pay inheritance tax. If a country is good enough to pay taxes to while you are living, it's good enough to pay in after you die. By the time you die you should be so used to paying taxes it would almost be second nature anyway.

On High Food Costs

Got a wire today from an old boy in Parsons, Kansas, and he wanted me to enter in a hog-calling contest; you know I used to be an awful good hog caller when hogs were cheap, but the way hogs have gone up in price it's changed the whole system of calling 'em. It would take Henry Ford hollering with his check book to get one to come to you nowadays. I hollered all morning just for three slices of bacon and it didn't come, so there ain't much use of me howling my head off to try and get a whole hog to come.

On the Criminal Justice System

There are two types of larceny, petty and grand, and the courts will really give you a longer sentence for petty that they do for grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but the judges always put a little extra on for petty, as a kind of a fine for stupidness. "If that's all you got you ought to go to jail longer."

On Characteristics of Politics

Common sense is not an issue in politics; it's an affliction. Neither is honesty an issue in politics. It's a miracle.

On Political Parties

If we didn't have two parties, we would all settle on the best men in the country and things would run fine. But as it is, we settle on the worst ones and then fight over 'em.

On Congress

We have the best Congress money can buy.

On Foreign Relations

Several papers have asked, "What would Europe do if we were in difficulties and needed help?" So this is in reply to those inquiries: Europe would hold a celebration.

On Communism

Communism is like Prohibition; it's a good idea but it won't work.

On International Travel

A bunch of American tourists were hissed and stoned yesterday in France, but not until they had finished buying.

On Cars and Driving

The trouble with us is America is just muscle bound from holding a steering wheel; the only place we are callused from work is the bottom of our driving toe.

On War and Peace

If we can just let other people alone and do their own fighting, we would be in good shape. When you get into trouble five thousand miles away from home you've got to have been looking for it.

On How He Wanted to be Remembered

When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like." I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.


Friday, May 19, 2017

A Poetic Guide to Good Living


Some of us who reach a certain age become convinced we've seen, read, or heard just about everything--at least everything of any importance. Then along comes a bit of  impressive wisdom that had completely escaped our notice.

That happened to me last weekend. As a part of the prelude to a talk by a local Rabbi at my church, a program coordinator read part of the poem "Desiderata" by Max Ehrmann. A fellow geezer stopped me after the program and asked if I had heard of Desiderata. I said no, and he said, "We ought to check it out, that reading was wonderful." So I did.

The background was interesting. Ehrmann was a lawyer and poet who lived in Indiana. He wrote Desiderata in 1927, but only circulated copies locally and the poem was largely unknown during his lifetime. Because a clergyman in New York included it in an array of writings he mislabeled, some who did learn of it thought it was centuries-old philosophy. When Adlai Stevenson, an Illinois politician who unsuccessfully ran for president of the United States against Dwight Eisenhower, died in 1965 a copy of the poem was found on a night stand beside his bed. We are told that Desiderata then became hugely popular with counter-culture people in the late 60s and early 70s.

It seems reasonable that I would have heard of any bit of philosophy that was "hugely popular" for a decade or more during prime years of my lifetime. However, I definitely was not part of any counter-culture movement and also have never been much of a fan of poetry. I thus missed  inspiring advice on what is desirable for those striving to live a good life, and some powerful words of hope during trying times. I think it is worth sharing:

                                           Desiderata

            Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
            and remember what peace there may be in silence.
            As far as possible without surrender
            be on good terms with all persons.
            Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
            and listen to others,
            even the dull and the ignorant;
            they too have their story.

            Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
            they are vexations to the spirit.
            If you compare yourself with others,
            you may become vain and bitter;
            for always there will be greater and lesser persons then yourself.
            Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

            Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
            it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
            Exercise caution in your business affairs;
            for the world is full of trickery.
            But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
            many persons strive for high ideals;
            and everywhere life is full of heroism.

            Be yourself.
            Especially, do not feign affection.
            Neither be cynical about love;
            for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
            it is as perennial as the grass.

            Take kindly the counsel of the years,
            gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
            Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
            But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
            Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
            Beyond a wholesome discipline,
            be gentle with yourself.

            You are a child of the universe,
            no less than the trees and the stars;
            you have a right to be here.


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