Lady Luck Smiled On a Low Roller

Beautiful wife Sandy and I consider ourselves to be quite expert at playing deuces wild poker on slot machines. We practiced for years during short vacation trips to Wendover, Nevada, from our long-time home in Ogden, Utah.

Of course, we didn't need many trips to learn the golden rule of slot playing--stay there long enough and you will lose. Casinos are not charities, and the odds are not in your favor. I also learned the hard way that my father's advice about gambling in general was wise counsel. "Never play any games you don't thoroughly understand, and don't risk a penny you can't afford to lose," he said.

We developed our strategy in the days when casino visits could be quite pleasant. Excellent buffet meals for a couple of dollars and the famous ninety-nine cent breakfasts were nice benefits. Dropping real coins into slots was fun and occasionally needing hand-washing breaks stretched the time one could play with a small stake. Slot players actually had pleasant conversations with each other. Noise levels were far below those of today when greedy casino managers cram together as many slots with outrageous musical accompaniments as possible.

Those good old days are long gone, but an occasional 15-mile drive to an elegant casino operated by a local Indian tribe provides exceptional meal offers to seniors like us and has a few slots we enjoy playing. So we go there about once a month to savor the food and risk a bit of surplus money.

Our gambling strategy is simple. We start with equal small cash stakes. We play only deuces wild poker on machines that accept nickels, because we know how to play them well to improve the odds a little, and at worst our stakes will last quite a while. We play only five nickels at a time, although messages on most machines strongly encourage playing ten. We establish a time when we will leave no matter what. If one of us loses the stake, he or she simply waits for the other to lose or the departure time arrives. If we happen to hit a substantial jackpot, we cash it out as it happens and go home with the proceeds.

We are the ultimate low rollers. But sometimes we leave with a profit. Yesterday was one of those times. The biggest deal of the day was when Sandy broke our rules by accident.

Four deuces popped up on Sandy's machine, and the jackpot bells started ringing. I knew that was a $50.00 winner for her quarter investment, so was amazed when the total went higher than that. "What's going on?" I asked.

She laughed and said, "I made a mistake. I looked over at a lady who was acting strangely a couple of machines away and hit the ten nickel bet button instead of the five."

The $50.00 win thus became $100.00. Sometimes disciplined play is not the best way. Our expert was hardly embarrassed at all as she took that hundred home.