Monday, December 07, 2015

Sagging Will Happen Soon Enough

As I prepared to sit down for lunch, a clean-cut young man at the next table noticed my Packers cap and struck up a conversation. He was a well-informed fan, and we had a pleasant exchange about the recent "Miracle in Motown" in which our favorites pulled off an unlikely victory over the Detroit Lions after time had expired.
Not a Pleasant Sight

When my new acquaintance departed with a "nice to talk to you" comment, I couldn't help but notice his low-slung jeans. They weren't quite as extreme as some (his were similar to the photo at the left), however another inch or two and the obnoxious "butt crack" display would have ruined his appearance. His display wasn't ruinous, but it certainly detracted considerably from the good impression he initially made on me.

As I got up and hitched up my trousers for the tenth or eleventh time that day, I wanted to stop the youngster and provide some senior advice. I didn't, knowing advice from elders rarely is appreciated, much less accepted.

Had I chosen to offer my wisdom, it would have been something like this: Back in the day I had a 32-inch waist, rounded hips, and a pretty solid butt. Any old belt easily held my pants up to the level of my navel or nearly so, and nobody ever accused me of being a slob.

Now, my hips and butt are disappearing rapidly and a lot of what was once youthful muscle seems to have migrated from various places to a protruding belly. When that happens, and it happens to many fully mature men, no matter how tightly a belt is cinched, trousers will slip and sag. It is not a pleasant place to be. When you are older, you perhaps will have enough trouble walking briskly without your pants hanging around your thighs or knees. Near-constant attention, or suspenders, becomes a necessity.

Young men should realize pants problems probably are in their futures. They don't need to practice the sagging jeans bit that offends some casual viewers and might cause them to blow an important job interview or other contact where neatness still counts. Wise up guys, and keep 'em up while you can.

11 comments:

Jhawk23 said...

The younger-persons' dress code these days may leave us oldsters shaking our heads (if not our tail feathers - too much risk there, as you have noted). But are there perhaps positive elements here?

E.g., maybe we older folks should take heart in the fact that young 'uns are actually seeking to imitate their elders! Now, that's unusual indeed. (On the flip side, we should observe that possibly if the older generation were to point out that fact to the younger, things might change in a big hurry!)



Celia said...

My sons wear suspenders both work and fancier ones. I really like them. Some of them can be quite elegant, despair not.

Dick Klade said...

Good thinking, JHawk. Perhaps we can use the old reverse psychology. You reminded me about a U.S. Forest Service experience where that worked. I'll post about that later.

Dick Klade said...

Celia . . . good for your guys. Suspenders beat hell out of saggy drawers, I think. My father and uncles wore suspenders in their later years. Unfortunately, they weren't elegant on them, but they were practical. Maybe I'll have to go there.

Rummuser said...

Ah for the days of holding up on its own trousers! Once I started adding the middle spare tyre, I went over to braces and many of my friends used to suggest that I should seriously consider being double safe and wear belts too! I have a good tailor now who tailors my trousers, we can still do that here in India to fit sniugly around my hips and so don't have to hitch up trousers, nor wear braces.

PiedType said...

You lucky men with your suspenders. I can attest that older women have similar problems and our only option is to tighten a belt or waistband to the point where it won't slip over our hip bones. It works, but it isn't always comfortable. I've come to envy men and their suspenders.

Dick Klade said...

Ah, yes, Ramana . . . Good tailors could remedy the situation. My father was a skilled tailor who could do that. Not many of them left in the U.S., at least none affordable for most people.

schmidleysscribblins.com said...

Much of what happens to us has to do with genes. My husband is thin, thin, thin. He can't gain weight. I tried to get him to wear suspenders to hold up his britches, however, he says he won't cause they make him look like an old man. At age 86 this seems like s silly thing to concern him.

Kay said...

I'm very happy to see my young nephew no long wears his jeans that way. His hair is still almost down to his waist though. I once saw a young guy on a exercise track at the gym in Illinois whose pants were half way down his hip... maybe more. I just couldn't figure out how it was staying up that way when he was walking briskly on the track. Everytime he came around I couldn't take my eyes off it because it was such a wonder to me. There must be some trick to it. I don't see this much in Hawaii anymore.

Big John said...

Did the young man wear his baseball cap sideways ?

Dick Klade said...

No, John, he appeared to have his cap (and his head, except in matters of trouser wearing) on straight.