Brits Have a Word for It

For some time, I’ve been entertained by posts at www.oldgit.wordpress.com created by “Big John.”  John liberally sprinkles British slang into his observations, which makes his wit even more delightful.

If, like me, you need a little help with meanings of some expressions tossed around in the UK, just as people who really speak English need help understanding “American,” here are a few tips to aid you with the article below.  The post is reproduced here with John’s permission.  “Nick” is a prison. “Old lag” refers to a convict.  “Banged up” means locked up in a cell.  John has defined one of my favorites, “starkers,” for us, and context explains “naughty bits” adequately.

John once described himself as a “born again atheist.” Knowing that helps in appreciating his post. Enjoy.

Should they go nude in the ‘nick’ ?

Posted by Big John on March 13, 2012

As one who thinks that the world would be a much better place without religion, I must admit to having a soft spot for the poor old pagans, as I can’t help but feel that history gave them a raw deal and a bad press with all that stuff about human sacrifice and dirty old druids chasing naked virgins by moonlight.

Even today they are discriminated against, as I found out when I learned a wonderful new word .. “skyclad” .. It means .. ’starkers’ .. and refers to the pagan practice of performing religious rituals while ‘au natural’.

Now I’m not sure why they need to display their naughty bits when dancing around their pentagrams, or whatever it is that they do, but it seems that some bloke in the ‘nick’ is a bit pissed off that he can’t; and another pagan ’old lag’ is upset because he is not allowed to wear a hooded robe.

I can’t see what harm would be done by granting these cons’ requests, for I’m sure that the members of other faiths are allowed to wear and use religious items, such as yarmulkes in the case of Jews and prayer mats in the case of Muslims. So why not banged-up ‘Ancient British believers’ ? .. Blimey ! .. It’s not as if they are asking for a megalithic monument to be erected in the exercise yard.

I bet the lawyers are queuing up outside the gates at this moment and booking flights to Strasbourg to appear before the European Court of Human Rights on behalf of these ‘persecuted’ pagans, and, for once, I support them. In fact I’m thinking of organising a ‘skyclad’ protest march … When ? … Well, perhaps …

… when the weather gets a bit warmer.

Ancient stonework might not work well in a prison yard.