Don't Play Games with St. Vincent

Near the end of my days as sports editor of The Daily Tribune, football fans in Wisconsin Rapids and everywhere else in the state were shocked when their hero Vince Lombardi left the Packers and went to the Washington Redskins as coach and general manager.

The biggest fans at the newspaper were the boys in the backroom—the printers who came to work as early as I did.  I was very busy early every morning, and the back shop crew had strict orders from the publisher not to bother me by asking for reports on the latest scores and happenings. When I had processed that information, however, they read every word before turning the paper accounts into type.

The printers were a pretty jolly crew, and we exchanged a lot of good-natured banter at times when deadline pressure was absent.  I decided to play a little trick on them one afternoon after most of them had gone home and things were slow at the sports desk.

A legend not to be trifled with

I snitched some blank teletype paper from the wire editor's desk and wrote a story with an Associated Press dateline saying Lombardi had decided to return to the Packers.  He once again would take over the coaching reins as well as the general manager duties.  And he guaranteed a Super Bowl victory at his press conference announcing the change.

I wrote a headline, specified a modest type size for it, and indicated it should appear only in a single-column format.  It was Tuesday afternoon.  I clearly marked the story "Hold for Thursday" and dropped it in a box where we placed material that didn't have a pressing time element.

Very early the next morning, a printer timidly approached my desk clutching the story.  "I know I'm not supposed to bother you," he said, "but are you absolutely sure we shouldn't run this Lombardi story today?  This is a fantastic thing."

I said I thought it was just a routine announcement, and we were pretty far from Green Bay.  There wasn't any rush about running it, and my space was really limited that day. I told him to put the story back in the hold box.  I figured I would go to the back room as soon as my deadlines were met and have a good laugh with the boys about the fake article.

Before that could happen, the head of the printing plant entered Editor Carl Otto's office with the story.  I was summoned almost immediately.  Otto thought the story was page one material, and I had lost my mind.

When I explained the hoax, Otto failed to find any humor in the situation.  He questioned my ancestry as well as my intellect, and he could be very forceful.  I never tried another stunt like that again—anytime, anywhere.

(This story was first published in “Days with the Dads: Recollections of a Small-Time Journalist”)

They Rallied Round My Flag

Sports commentators advanced all the usual theories as to why my moribund Green Bay Packers rose up last night to put a pretty good thumping on the previously unbeaten Houston Texans.  The writers and announcers cited better blocking, play calling, pass patterns, and quarterback decisions as reasons for the Packers’ victory.

Proudly it does wave, at least for now.

Nonsense. None of those things had much to do with the win. It was all about my flag.

For the past 10 years, I’ve hoisted a Packers flag after every win. It’s one of several juvenile things I do just because they’re fun. Usually,  the flag stays up until Thursday and then is taken in as we await results of the next contest. Last year, the Pack won so many games in a row I just got tired of the routine and left it up for a month or so.

Late this summer, as part of our never-ending home-improvement project, a painter removed the flag holder beside our garage door so he could refurbish the door frame. He forgot to put it back until just now.

Of course, the absence of my banner struck a serious blow to team morale.  The Packers started the season with only one decent performance before last night.

Now the flag flies again, at least until Thursday. Don’t count our guys out just yet. Incidentally, that big G stands for god—he’s our quarterback.

Two Football Fortunes in Jeopardy

Unforeseen circumstances—a key injury, a bad official’s call, a penalty at a inopportune moment—often decide games in the National Football League. The college draft system  and  revenue sharing agreements tend to keep rosters filled with players of about equal ability.

Circumstances also can affect player compensation. Two intriguing pay situations currently involve underemployed performers. One is a star member of the Green Bay Packers; the other is a former Packers second-stringer.

The Packers are paying wide receiver Greg Jennings about $7 million this season for his work. Unfortunately, Jennings hasn’t been working very much. He was on the sidelines recovering from a concussion much of the time teammates prepared for the season. In the first regular game, Jennings suffered a groin injury.  He hasn’t played much since, and a fourth of the season is history.

Many observers think Jennings is the best of a very talented group of Packers receivers. So what’s the problem? Won’t they just wait until he gets healthy, rejoice when he’s back on the field, and be happy to pay him another $7 or so for a full season of activity next year?  The problem is Jennings is in the last year of his contract.  He’ll be a free agent next year.

Greg Jennings may take a hit in the wallet next year

The circumstances are that the Packers have been busy signing three of their other star players to hefty multi-year contracts. There probably won’t be enough spare cash available to resign Jennings. As a star free agent, he normally would sign with another team, probably with a long-term deal paying him even more that his current $7 million a year. His recent injuries, however, make the situation abnormal. They devalue his worth on the open market.

It’s unlikely Jennings will be able to amass impressive statistics this year playing only a partial schedule. NFL teams worry about committing a lot of money to players who seem to be injury prone. Jennings’ recent history may place him in that category.  These circumstances could cost Jennings millions of dollars in the future.

Matt Flynn probably has the best job in the league—at least at the moment. Flynn served at a Packers’ backup quarterback for four years starting in 2008. He played in only two complete regular season games during that time. But he made a huge impression in the last one, the final game of the 2011 season when the Packers rested their regular quarterback for the playoffs.  Flynn threw six touchdown passes against the Detroit Lions, and suddenly everyone decided he was a great quarterback. 

That incredible performance came at the end of his Green Bay contract, and made him a hot item as a free agent.  The Packers decided a backup quarterback was not worth big money, and reluctantly let Flynn go.  After negotiating with several teams, he signed a three-year deal with the Seattle Seahawks for $19.5 million including bonuses, and $10 million of that is guaranteed to be paid no matter what.

The “what” came along quite unexpectedly. Seattle drafted Russell Wilson, a University of Wisconsin quarterback, in the third round.  Wilson had performed brilliantly at Wisconsin, but was considered too short to have a good chance to do well in the NFL. He fooled everybody by beating Flynn out in training camp, and the ex-Packer once again is a backup unthreatened by huge charging linemen intent on crushing quarterbacks.

Flynn now draws his paychecks by taking only a few snaps in practices.  There he wears a red shirt to ensure that no one will put dents in his $10 million body. On game days, he safely walks the sideline with a clipboard and helps relay plays to Wilson. Flynn’s chances of grabbing another high-paying contract next time around are not looking good.

Both Jennings and Flynn are fine young men as far as I know, and I wish them well.  In fact, Jennings is a local hero.  He played college ball at Western Michigan University, has a foundation that funds worthwhile activities for youths in Kalamazoo, and is a family man who serves as a positive role model for kids who need one.

Nevertheless, I shed no tears for professional football players who face future cuts in compensation. As a group, they are some of the most overpaid of those who make up that privileged one percent Americans are becoming less and less enamored with.

Alas! Multiple Tragedies Hit News

The geezer learned of three crushing blows to things he holds sacred in a span of just six days recently.

The Green Bay Packers released photos of the latest addition to Lambeau Field, where the geezer attended the first game ever played in that venerable stadium.  The new seating section actually has SEATS instead of benches to make things comfortable for the fans.  What next? A DOME to shield us from the weather? Never.

Gonzo Gonzalez goofed when he down graded the best-known institution in Plainwell, Michigan

John “Gonzo” Gonzalez, entertainment reporter for the Kalamazoo Gazette announced the winners in a contest he personally conducted to determine the top ten ice cream parlors in Michigan.  He rated the Plainwell Ice Cream Company Number Six.  My god, this man has no taste buds. Doesn’t he know Plainwell quality has not varied one iota since the product was named one of the “Seven Wonders of Michigan” just a couple of years ago?

I was so shocked by the frozen treat miscarriage of justice I drove past Plainwell Ice Cream yesterday before I thought to stop for a serving of blueberry swirl in a waffle cone.  That’s pure ice cream heaven, Gonzalez. You must have been smoking the wrong stuff before you did your sampling.

Then came the annual announcement by the Princeton Review of the top party schools in the U.S. My alma mater, the University of Wisconsin-Madison, was relegated to the No. 13 spot.  Good grief.  We were numero uno for years.  Obviously, those hoity toity Princeton people never visited Langdon or State Streets.

Alumni need to rally and make a return to campus complete with kegs and watermelons full of gin to show the current crop of Badgers how it’s done.  This insult must be corrected.

I stopped reading the news for two days.  I didn’t want to find out about any more desecrations of important institutions in my life.   

An Overdue Payment

“In its heyday in the 1970s, the Vince Lombardi Golf Classic rivaled the PGA Tour stop in Milwaukee as the summer’s must-see golf event.”

That was the opening line in a Milwaukee (WI) Journal Sentinel feature story this week.  The writer told how the professional tour event, The Greater Milwaukee Open, lost corporate and community support and finally folded in 2009.  The Lombardi Classic also went into decline, but rallied under new leadership and once again is a premier links event.  Coincidentally, both tournaments have 42-year histories.

The Classic is one of five events sponsored by the Lombardi Cancer Foundation.  The foundation has raised more than $15 million to fight the disease that prematurely took the life of Vince Lombardi, the iconic Green Bay Packers coach.

In 1979 I was in my 32^nd year as a Packers fan.  I’d heard very little about the golf tournament, but thought I’d have a look at it because a local news story said several Packers would be playing.  The event was held, as it will be June 8-9 this year, at North Hills Country Club, which was a mile from our home in Menomonee Falls.

I walked to the country club about mid-afternoon, some four hours after the advertised start of the tournament.  My mostly cross-country journey was designed to get me there as directly, not as precisely, as possible.  I wound up nowhere near the club entrance.  I encountered a roped-off parking lot.  Entry was easy and inexpensive.  I just lifted the rope, ducked, and walked in.

A large tent to my left looked like a central point of some sort.  My arrival there was greeted with shouts of “Stand back!”  I and dozens of others did as former president Gerald R. Ford passed within six feet of me on the way to the scorer’s table. The smiling ex-president was escorted by several very serious young men, assumed to be Secret Service agents.  I joined the crowd in applauding Mr. Ford.

Spectators seemed to be moving around randomly.  I heard several talking about going to the sixth tee, because “you can see a lot of action from there.”  I went to the sixth tee.  From the elevated vantage point I saw:

1.  Bart Starr, legendary Packers quarterback, do on the golf course what “Mr. Perfect” had done for years on the football field.  He hit a beautiful long drive right down the middle of the sixth fairway.

2.  On another fairway observable from my position on the hill, a very big man wearing Chicago Bears colors hit the longest fairway wood shot I’ve ever seen.  The accuracy wasn’t great, but the distance was awesome.  Memory dims, but that golfer was either Dick Butkus or Mike Ditka.

One of the heart-warming things about the tournament over the years has been participation by former Bears players in an event honoring their supposedly all-time “hated rival” Green Bay coach. The gridiron enemies proved they could be on the same team for good causes.

The tournament has a celebrity-guest format.  The celebrities donate their time.  This year the guests will pay $995 each to play with the famous folks, and the slots are sold out.  The 2012 field includes 14 current Packers among the 40 celebs.  And, yes, Bart Starr will be there playing once again.

Spectators get in for a paltry $10 donation, with all proceeds benefiting the Vince Lombardi Cancer Foundation.  The entry fee probably wasn’t even that small amount in 1979 when I avoided it, but there ought to be some penalty for those who sneaked in back then and are feeling a little guilty now recalling the intrusion.

The geezer just redeemed himself in a small way by sending a $10 donation via www.lombardifoundation.org  Checks may be mailed to: Lombardi Cancer Foundation, P.O. Box 341217, Milwaukee, WI, 53234-1217.

Everybody who gets involved in this tournament wins.