Monday, May 23, 2011

Hold That Celebration


All sorts of reports appeared over the weekend of people in many places partying and cracking bad jokes because it appeared that the forecast Judgment Day and associated Rapture transporting the worthy to heaven was just another false alarm.


Well, hold on there a minute, folks.


It is true that Judgment Day did not start at 6 p.m. on May 21 in New Zealand with an earthquake as the prophesy said it would. And nothing spectacular happened at 6 p.m. as we progressed through the other time zones. But that is not cause for celebration or ridicule. The preacher who launched the whole idea surely will point this out as soon as he has had a chance to think things through.


A quick check of the status of most of my friends and acquaintances shows all are still with us. But we would have to check the missing person lists worldwide to be sure others were not raptured soon after their clocks struck six. It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but few if any of my contacts have unblemished records. I may have committed a few minor transgressions myself. It is, therefore, not surprising that none of us vanished over the weekend.

If the bar was set very high, it just could be that only a dozen or so humans qualified to rise into the kingdom on the 21st. The rest of humanity, according to the prophesy, will get what’s coming to us between now and October 22. During that time, a series of catastrophes will extinguish many lives throughout the world. On the 21st, presumably at 6 p.m. although the prophet didn’t state the hour for this event, the world will end in a fiery ball.


Looking at things this way explains something that’s been bothering me. Following my generous offer (see May 11 post) to accept excess assets from all who believed they were too wealthy to make it into heaven, I received only two responses. One fellow blogger sent me a bill for $40,010.00, after calculating that his net worth was under water. The other respondent mailed a check for $1.37.


It’s too late now to make yourself more attractive by shedding your cash. You’ll all just have to join me in toughing it out until fall. Then we can party with confidence.

4 comments:

Kay Dennison said...

LOL The chosen are supposed to be 700 in number. Frankly, I'm not interested in an elitist God who would toss his toys aside so carelessly.

My dad used to say that he didn't want to go to heaven because he wouldn't know anybody there. I think I agree with him.

Ginnie said...

It may not be the end of the world but Mother Nature is sure ticked off about something ... I wonder if she and Harold Camping are in cahoots.

schmidleysscribblins.wordpress.com said...

Around here, Judgement Day has to do with the County Fair in August.

Sightings said...

I agree with Ginnie -- but prefer to go out like your friend Gloria Jensen-Sutton, who says she plans to lie naked in her patio lounge chair and enjoy getting a nice tan.